WorkLifeBridge

If a problem is affecting you at work, chances are you bring the problem home with you at the end of the day.

That works in reverse as well. If something is bothering you at home, you bring it to work with you. Problems are like that — we carry them wherever we go.

Since all of us have personal problems that can affect our ability to focus on our work the way we want, from time to time here at WorkLifeBridge we will feature articles with tips on addressing those pressing home-life problems.

Today’s article tackles a timely concern for many people affected by the current housing crisis: “Using Negotiation Skills to Avoid Foreclosure and Other Calamities”

Like many people today, you’re probably wondering how to survive the real estate downturn and the credit crunch. What do you do when your interest rate has gone up and you can no longer afford your payments? What do you do when the bills have piled up and you have to make tough choices on which to defer and which to try and pay?Tough as these questions are, in principle, they mirror many of the decisions you have to make at work. You’ve made commitments to a customer and are having trouble meeting them. You’re managing a project that is behind schedule and has run into technical difficulties. Your suppliers are hounding you for payments but you have a receivables problem and don’t have the cash…

It’s all the same stuff, the gist of which is that you’ve made commitments, financial or otherwise, that you can no longer sustain. You have two choices - one choice, which a lot of people make, is to try harder, cutting corners, exhausting themselves, and eventually failing anyway. The other choice is to communicate and negotiate, and in the process turn your adversaries into your partners in solving the problem.

A little known fact is that most banks and other creditors would rather get something than nothing. If a bank forecloses on your house, it often loses a lot of money on the sale of the property, and besides, most banks prefer to be in the money business rather than the real estate business. Similarly, if your business creditors bankrupt you, they are often so far down the line on the list of creditors and the bankruptcy process itself takes so long, that they will see only a few pennies of the dollar you owe them.

So your best strategy when you can’t meet your commitments is to communicate with the other party as early as possible and try to set up a meeting to talk. This is true whether this party is a bank or a supplier or a customer. People would generally prefer to know as early as they can if there is trouble down the road. Be clear in your statement of the problem and have some solutions in your mind to discuss with them. Finally, regard the situation as a collaborative negotiation whose goal is to solve the problem to best meet everyone’s interests and view the other party as your partner in making this happen.

Be clear about what you can and can’t do, and be conservative in any new commitments you make so you don’t have to have this same conversation with them over and over again. Try to use objective data to persuade the other party that your limits are real, and at the same time, be open to their concerns regarding your commitments. Pay close attention to what they have to say and make sure you understand them. Listen for clues as to what they need in order to keep working with you on renegotiating a deal that works for both of you.

Keep in mind that the bank, your creditors, and your customers, have a vested interest in your success, because part of their success depends on your success. Besides, most people can relate to someone going through a tough time. Thus, if you communicate often and clearly, and if you make the people you committed to part of the solution, you will be able in many cases to negotiate enough breathing room to get back on your feet.

For many people, asking for raises at work is very difficult. Many people simply don’t ask, hoping that their efforts will be noticed on their own, and as a result, they can find themselves grossly underpaid. As the Evil HR Lady points out, no one cares as much about your career as you do, and it is up to you to take the initiative regarding your compensation.

So why is money so hard to talk about? For one, many people have been brought up to think that asking for more is unbecoming or rude. This is especially true for women, according to Women Don’t Ask, a book that explores negotiation and the gender divide, and, as a result, women on average earn less and advance their careers more slowly than the men around them.

Many people are also concerned about appearing greedy or damaging the relationship with their manager. The fear of rejection also looms big, since their self esteem is on the line. Managers also make this discussion difficult through their own discomfort with the subject. At the root of much of this mutual discomfort is a perception that this discussion is adversarial — a win-lose scenario in which one’s gain is the other’s loss.

While there is some truth there, in that the pool of available money is limited, both the company and the employee have far more complex interests other than just the money, and by focusing on those greater interests, it is possible to have a collaborative discussion about compensation.

In addition to greater financial rewards, employees want appreciation, career advancement, challenging responsibilities, learning opportunities, and autonomy. Employers want to retain and develop employees, and want people to take initiative and mentor others.

By enlarging the discussion beyond just the money, but not ignoring it either, it is possible to engage in a mutually beneficial conversation that nets the employee a higher salary while providing the company with a happier, more productive, and more capable worker.

Here are three basic things you can do to help create a collaborative approach:

1. Prepare extensively for your negotiation.  Make sure you understand your own interests as well as those of your boss, and think about much more than just the money. Research objective standards you can apply to convince the other person, and think up at least a couple of different options that would make you happy. Research and understand your alternatives to a negotiated agreement. This way you will neither say something foolish out of fear or confusion, and your confidence in your negotiation will improve.
2. Listen more than you talk. Ask your boss open-ended questions and listen to the responses you get as you try to identify interests.
3. Negotiate the relationship concurrently with the outcome. You can’t afford a short-term win that will damage the relationship going forward. The key here is to be respectful, and to really understand where the other person is coming from.