This is the time of year when many organizations hold company parties, providing important opportunities for people to network and get to know each other in a more informal setting. People from different departments and management levels get to rub elbows socially, with the goal of breaking down some barriers and building morale. Unfortunately, as the evening wears on and the alcohol flows, people sometimes forget that while the party conveys a different atmosphere than the office, they are still with people from their place of work, and that there are consequences to things they say and do at the party.
Of course, the best way to avoid those consequences is to behave yourself during the party. As an article on the Quintessential Careers web site points out, office parties can both advance and cripple your career. After all, where else but the office party can you find the CEO and the mail room clerk bellied up to the bar together, as a recent Monster.com advice column reminds us. This creates opportunities for friendly conversation but also the danger of unfiltered commentary, since consumption of alcohol is acceptable at roughly 70% of holiday office parties.
Since your behavior at an office party can help or kill your career, you definitely don’t want to be the person who got so drunk at the office party that they groped a co-worker, told off the boss, or passed out under the buffet table, since on Monday morning you still have to try to work with those people. And chances are you want to avoid having to write a letter of apology (or of resignation), the week after, as discussed in this NPR Morning Edition commentary.
But sometimes despite what you know you should be doing and the advice of many sages, you still do things you regret later. You might have said things you shouldn’t have said to the wrong people, you might have acted like a fool, or done something very inappropriate. Now it’s Monday morning, and you have to salvage your career. Damage may already have been done, but it’s your behavior on Monday and beyond that can determine whether the damage is fleeting or will kill your career at the company.
My first advice is to not go it alone: seek advice from people you trust within the company who might be able to paint a more accurate picture for you about what exactly happened and who else was involved. Things might not be as embarrassing as your remember them to be, or they might be worse, and have a couple of other perspectives on the matter can be helpful. Then you need to decide whether the event will blow over on its own or needs to be addressed. In some corporate cultures, it may be better to leave things unsaid, whereas in others you might need to bring the matter up explicitly.
If you do need to bring it up, figure out who you have to talk to and how public or private to make your communication. This will largely depend on the nature of what you have done and the circumstances surrounding it. When you do communicate, first listen to what people are saying so you know what their concerns are and what you need to address. It’s also important to encapsulate the event by framing it as an unusual, one-time occurrence that is less representative of you as a person and more of the particular circumstances of the moment. People may not be quick to forget, but they do recognize your humanity and are likely to forgive your transgressions, so long as you take appropriate responsibility for your actions and carry yourself with respect for yourself and for others going forward.
For additional thoughts on surviving the holiday office party, check out the following articles:
In the meantime, happy holidays!
The latest edition of Complete Lawyer, an online publication on professional development, quality of life, and career issues that impact lawyers, covers an issue that any workplace — legal or otherwise — needs to pay attention to: workplace bullying.